This blog is all about parents--conferences, emails, phone calls, involvement, etc.
Our school sees communication as VERY important. Before the first day of school we had a Friday night BBQ. This was the first night I met some of my students and a lot of parents. Everyone was really friendly and excited for the school year. I was completely overwhelmed. This first night I had parents asking me what I would be coaching this year and then they would spend 20 minutes telling me how their daughter was going to be my star basketball player or soccer player. I had one dad tell me he was trying to get his daughters entire club soccer team to switch to our school. Pretty insane. We also had a "Back to School Night" two weeks into school. Parents would come and go through their child's schedule. Each class was 7 minutes long. We were supposed to go over our classroom rules and procedures with the parents this night. I had already sent home a syllabus to my parents so they all knew my classroom policies so I spent the time going over what we would be learning this year. In PE I talked about how I typically run a unit and what is required of their students. I also spend time talking about uniforms and why its important for the parents to make sure their student has their correct uniform every day. In my Bible class I shared my testimony with the parents. I felt it was important for them to understand my spiritual condition since I would be influencing the spiritual life of their children.We tend to over-communicate with the parents. We send out a Knightly News once or twice a week (our mascot is the Knight). This is a newsletter that communicates all announcements and events going on at the school. All of our grades and lesson plans are put online for the parents to view at any time. They don't see all the details of our lesson plan, but they can see the basic idea of what we are doing and what the homework is for that day. All this to say, parents are totally clued in on what we are doing or trying to do at school.
I am going to give you details on some parent conferences I have had to give you an idea of what its like to communicate with parents.
One parent wanted to get together with all of the teachers who instruct her son. We all met with her after school and she shared her concerns. He has ADHD and anger issues so she wants to always be informed on what is going on. He is in my PE class. I have not had any issues surface in my class so my involvement with the conference was minimal, however, at the end of the meeting she shared some valuable information. She began to cry and shared with all of the teachers that her relationship with her husband is falling apart. He is always traveling and when he is home he hides in the basement and does not help her with either of her two sons, both have ADHD and are a bit of a handful. Mom is stressed out and is trying to hide the broken relationship from her sons. Knowing this information will really help us understand why the one boy might have anger issues. We can love these students more and teacher them better because we have knowledge of their home life.
Another parent met with me after school last week to check in and see how her daughter is doing in my science class. This mom used to home school her daughter and is concerned she might not be up-to-speed. Her daughter does not write in complete sentences and has poor spelling. Her mom explained to me that she didn't used to make her daughter write out answers because they would just discuss things instead. Wow. Now I can understand why this student is the way she is and it will help me break her of these bad habits. This mom also told me the sweetest thing that I will share with you guys. Her daughter is really shy and does not talk much at school. Her mom said she LOVES my class and that I have brought out a bit of her personality. Her mom said that she has never seen her daughter pray for someone more. HOW SWEET IS THAT?? :) Teaching is awesome!
I am going to give you one more parent example. I gave a detention to two girls a few weeks ago who were hitting each other. We assign demerits at our school or detentions if the behavior is severe. I gave out detentions and contacted the parents to let them know about the situation. One girls mother and father were waiting at my classroom door at the end of the day to talk with me about it. Can you say over protective?? Anyway, they were very concerned because their daughter would never do something like this. We spent about 20 minutes (no joke) discussing what happened and what the punishment would be etc etc. I thought we had resolved everything, but then I started receiving emails. Their daughter had taken the other girls pencil box and that is why they were fighting. Another teacher saw her steal this, so this teacher wrote theft on the detention slip and I wrote fighting. Let me show you a few sentences of what the parents wrote me in email.
"I would like to ask though could you possibly change *students name* reasoning for detention to something other than theft on her transcript.*students name* didn’t steal anything. She may have caused a disturbance but calling it theft is probably a little too harsh of a judgment (I would think) and I would not want her to be seen in this light. Every day, we remind her and our son, that it takes years to build a good reputation/character and only seconds to tear it down."
I changed what was written to just fighting on the detention and then received this email:
"Sorry to be a pest in this matter, but I’d venture to say it was more like mild shoving.. and not fighting.. could that be used as the term to accurately describe what had occurred.."
My first thought was that this parent was out of control. I was pretty annoyed that I was getting these emails. But the more I thought about it the more I could understand the parents perspective. I went to the principal on this issue to be sure I was handling the matter in the best way possible. *Don't ever be too proud to ask for help!* After discussing this matter with the principal we decided to just leave it at fighting.Sometimes parents love and concern for their children gets in the way of their judgment. As teachers we have to be patient and willing to work with parents, but we also have to have control over our classroom and the decisions we make. In the end, its our decision what happens to the students at school. Parents will email you all the time about grades. You have to be firm and make tough decisions sometimes. For example, parents will look at a test grade and email you asking if their child can make corrections for half credit or if they can do extra credit. You need to be tough. If the student didn't study or put forth their best effort then they deserve that low grade and they will learn from it. I have found most of my parents to be very involved, but not in a pushy way. They have supported me and have encouraged me.
Hopefully this post has given you some insight into the world of teaching when it comes to dealing with parents. Feel free to leave any comments, questions or ideas.
